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(SCENE: a science fiction and comic book expo a couple years back. A smiling recruiter working the table for a local club devoted to geeky interests accosts a group of three female cosplayers.)
Geek Recruiter: Hi, ladies! Would you like to join the Gaming Club? It's a great way to meet men!*
Nerd Girls: ...
Geek Recruiter: What?
Nerd Girl A: Um, you HAVE noticed that we're all at a COMIC BOOK CONVENTION, right?
Nerd Girl B: Cosplaying as X-men characters?
Nerd Girl C: I'm dressed as Rogue, for God's sake.
Nerd Girl A: Plus, we all happen to be members of the university anime club. I think we already know how to meet nerdy men.
Nerd Girl C: Believe me, quantity is not an issue.
Nerd Girl B: Regular bathing is, though. Where do you guys stand on that?
Geek Recruiter: Hey, we've gotten a LOT BETTER about the bathing...**
Nerd Girl A: Plus, by using that as your main selling point, instead of, you know, gaming, you're basically implying that you think the main reason we'd want to join a gaming club is to hunt for husbands.
Nerd Girl B: Which is dumb. I play Dungeons and Dragons every week!
Nerd Girl C: I'm her DM!
Nerd Girl A: And my Forsaken Rogue in World of Warcraft just dinged 70.
Nerd Girl B: Ooh, grats.
Nerd Girl A: Thanks.
Nerd Girl C: What server are you on?
Nerd Girl A: Bladefist. But we digress.
Nerd Girl B: Anyway, why should we want to join if you're less interested in our gaming habits than in having us provide your current members with girlfriends?
Nerd Girl A: Plus, I'm pretty sure at least one of us is a lesbian...
Nerd Girl B: I am!
Nerd Girl C: Right, she is. And I already have a boyfriend.
Nerd Girl A: So for two out of three of us, "meeting men" ISN'T EVEN A SELLING POINT.
Geek Recruiter: Oh. Um, so do YOU...
Nerd Girl A: No.
Nerd Girl C: Finally, by telling us that your club is "a great way to meet men," you are basically saying "so far, not a single other woman has wanted to join our club."
Nerd Girls A, B, & C: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
Nerd Girl A: Red alert!
Nerd Girl B: A-OOOO-GAH!
Nerd Girl C: Danger, Wilhemina Robinson! Danger!
Nerd Girl A: Presumably, all those other women knew something we don't.
Nerd Girl C: Or, you know, exactly what we already DO.
Nerd Girl B: So we'll be declining your generous invitation, thanks.
Geek Recruiter: Oh. Um. Okay, then...
Nerd Girl B: Come on, let's get back to the dealers' room before that Doctor Who action figure sells out.
Nerd Girl C: Sure, but let's try to avoid the Star Trek props display this time or our Wolverine will just start waffling endlessly over the phasers again.
Nerd Girl A: I want a phaser. Should I buy a phaser? I don't really need a phaser, but OH GOD I NEED A PHASER.***
_______________________________________________
*Yes, he actually said this.
**AND THIS. Merciful heavens.
***I did not buy the phaser. I should have bought the phaser. I can't really afford the phaser, but OH GOD WHY DIDN'T I BUY THE PHASER?
Geek Recruiter: Hi, ladies! Would you like to join the Gaming Club? It's a great way to meet men!*
Nerd Girls: ...
Geek Recruiter: What?
Nerd Girl A: Um, you HAVE noticed that we're all at a COMIC BOOK CONVENTION, right?
Nerd Girl B: Cosplaying as X-men characters?
Nerd Girl C: I'm dressed as Rogue, for God's sake.
Nerd Girl A: Plus, we all happen to be members of the university anime club. I think we already know how to meet nerdy men.
Nerd Girl C: Believe me, quantity is not an issue.
Nerd Girl B: Regular bathing is, though. Where do you guys stand on that?
Geek Recruiter: Hey, we've gotten a LOT BETTER about the bathing...**
Nerd Girl A: Plus, by using that as your main selling point, instead of, you know, gaming, you're basically implying that you think the main reason we'd want to join a gaming club is to hunt for husbands.
Nerd Girl B: Which is dumb. I play Dungeons and Dragons every week!
Nerd Girl C: I'm her DM!
Nerd Girl A: And my Forsaken Rogue in World of Warcraft just dinged 70.
Nerd Girl B: Ooh, grats.
Nerd Girl A: Thanks.
Nerd Girl C: What server are you on?
Nerd Girl A: Bladefist. But we digress.
Nerd Girl B: Anyway, why should we want to join if you're less interested in our gaming habits than in having us provide your current members with girlfriends?
Nerd Girl A: Plus, I'm pretty sure at least one of us is a lesbian...
Nerd Girl B: I am!
Nerd Girl C: Right, she is. And I already have a boyfriend.
Nerd Girl A: So for two out of three of us, "meeting men" ISN'T EVEN A SELLING POINT.
Geek Recruiter: Oh. Um, so do YOU...
Nerd Girl A: No.
Nerd Girl C: Finally, by telling us that your club is "a great way to meet men," you are basically saying "so far, not a single other woman has wanted to join our club."
Nerd Girls A, B, & C: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
Nerd Girl A: Red alert!
Nerd Girl B: A-OOOO-GAH!
Nerd Girl C: Danger, Wilhemina Robinson! Danger!
Nerd Girl A: Presumably, all those other women knew something we don't.
Nerd Girl C: Or, you know, exactly what we already DO.
Nerd Girl B: So we'll be declining your generous invitation, thanks.
Geek Recruiter: Oh. Um. Okay, then...
Nerd Girl B: Come on, let's get back to the dealers' room before that Doctor Who action figure sells out.
Nerd Girl C: Sure, but let's try to avoid the Star Trek props display this time or our Wolverine will just start waffling endlessly over the phasers again.
Nerd Girl A: I want a phaser. Should I buy a phaser? I don't really need a phaser, but OH GOD I NEED A PHASER.***
_______________________________________________
*Yes, he actually said this.
**AND THIS. Merciful heavens.
***I did not buy the phaser. I should have bought the phaser. I can't really afford the phaser, but OH GOD WHY DIDN'T I BUY THE PHASER?
