Jun. 3rd, 2008

SUSHI.

Jun. 3rd, 2008 11:24 pm
dejadrew: (Default)
GodDAMN but I hate being female sometimes. "Aunt Flo" is being a particular bitch this month. I've had the appetite of an anorexic canary all day, been sick as a bulimic dog all evening, and now, NOW, in the middle of the night, my appetite has suddenly returned with a vengeance.

An oddly specific vengeance. I want sushi. No, that's not right. This requires capitals. And bolded text.  I WANT SUSHI. I would currently perform unspeakable acts for a kappamaki. I would break laws written and unwritten for a California roll. If there were a tray of spicy tuna on one side of the room and an enraged rabid grizzly bear dripping bloody froth from her gleaming fangs onto the carpet between myself and said tray, I would launch myself at the bear without hesitation.

And then the bear would eat me and then the tuna, but I would MAKE THE ATTEMPT.

This is a particularly strange compulsion because I don't even LIKE sushi all that much. I've only been out for sushi twice, with friends, and thought it was okay, I guess, sort of. Figured it was an acquired taste, and since there is not a single seller of sushi within an hour's drive from my house, I haven't had much opportunity to acquire it. Except now it seems I HAVE acquired it. Abruptly. Near midnight. At the aforementioned house, with the said sushi sellers the previously stated hour's drive away, and not open. And since I previously had no particular fondness for sushi, there is nothing remotely resembling sushi-making ingredients or equipment anywhere in my house, else I would be frantically rolling, or possibly just devouring whole sheets of nori and drinking rice vinegar straight from the bottle.

I ended up devouring sweet pickles and peanut butter on stoned wheat thins, which for some reason my stomach and ovaries have decided is the closest acceptable sushi substitute among the available options. Don't ask me. Ask the hormones. Geeze, it's like being pregnant. I know I'm not, because A) Like I said, I am currently receiving a visitation from Aunt Flo, and B) I am not nor have I recently received a visitation from the Archangel Gabriel. Which is a damn shame, really, because if I had, I could send the Archangel out to get me some #$!*ING SUSHI.

...I need more pickles.

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dejadrew

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