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Red Shirts forev... uh, for about fifteen seconds! YEAH!
Having seen the new Star Trek movie, I now kinda want to have a torrid affair with every single male member of the cast before eventually settling down and marrying Doctor McCoy.
This movie had pretty much everything I could have wanted or hoped for from a Trek movie. McCoy being a cranky luddite! Spock raising an eyebrow and saying "fascinating!" Kirk being a huge slut! And A GUY IN A RED SHIRT DYING HORRIBLY FIVE MINUTES INTO THE MISSION! WOOO! I was dressed as a Red Shirt for the premiere, so I was bizarrely pleased by that. Unfortunately, hardly anyone in the theatre got the joke. One accessory in particular seemed to cause confusion....
Concerned and Well-Meaning Moviegoer #4: "Excuse me, did you know you have a target taped to your back?"
Me: " *sigh* Yes. Even if three other people hadn't already told me, yes."
That aside, I had a lovely time. I was found by a wandering gang of nerds who saw that I was at the movie by myself and decided to adopt me as one of their own, which was really nice. The movie was a lot more awesome than I expected. I wasn't expecting awesome at all. I was expecting okay, and got awesome. Still a little heartbroken about Vulcan and Amanda, but I'm telling myself that regular Trek continuity still exists as an alternate reality, dammit, it did not go away, it did NOT. And I do understand the reason for fridging Amanda and the whole damn planet with her. That shock was needed to really make the audience feel that Things Are Different Now, and Anything Can Happen, and You Are Not Safe, and You Can't Complain About Continuity Any More Neener Neener.
Another thing I wasn't expecting was the Uhura/Spock thing, but I think I like it. In particular, I love how it subverted every romantic comedy and anime relationship ever:
Kirk: Hey, Baby, what's your sign?
Uhura: "No trespassing."
Kirk: Come on, don't be like that.
Uhura: Shoo.
Kirk: You say that now, but I and the audience both know that at the end of a few movie hours worth of arguing and sexual tension you're going to trip and fall into my bed and admit that actually you liked me all along.
Audience: *sigh* He's right, Uhura. Might as well give in to the laws of romantic narrative now and get it over with.
Uhura: Not interested.
Kirk: Which we all know really means....
Uhura: REALLY not interested. No, seriously. I'm not going to end up with you by the end of the movie. It turns out I'm already in a relationship with someone almost completely unlike you. I'm actually just not that into you.
Audience: !!!
Kirk: Oh. Um, is it a passionless relationship with a bland boring guy which will dissipate as soon as you realize how hot I am?
Uhura: Nope. Tall dark and handsome AND exotic mysterious and tormented. Sorry.
Audience: <3 <3 <3
Kirk: But... But... You are REALLY messing with audience expectations, here...
Fangirls in Audience: Sorry, Kirk, but given the option, we'd all bang Spock too.
Kirk: Oh. Okay. Um. Well. Guess I'll, just... go back to sleeping my way through Starfleet Academy's female student body, then. I mean, I think there are still at least three sophomores in the engineering faculty I haven't banged yet, so... yeah.
Uhura: Have fun.
Kirk: ... Any chance of a three-way?
Spock: I would not be averse to this suggestion...
Uhura: Shut up, honey.
Spock: Yes, dear.
********************************
A movie where no actually really does mean no, and is not code, and persistance is not all you need to wear her down and make her love you. Thank you God.
This movie had pretty much everything I could have wanted or hoped for from a Trek movie. McCoy being a cranky luddite! Spock raising an eyebrow and saying "fascinating!" Kirk being a huge slut! And A GUY IN A RED SHIRT DYING HORRIBLY FIVE MINUTES INTO THE MISSION! WOOO! I was dressed as a Red Shirt for the premiere, so I was bizarrely pleased by that. Unfortunately, hardly anyone in the theatre got the joke. One accessory in particular seemed to cause confusion....
Concerned and Well-Meaning Moviegoer #4: "Excuse me, did you know you have a target taped to your back?"
Me: " *sigh* Yes. Even if three other people hadn't already told me, yes."
That aside, I had a lovely time. I was found by a wandering gang of nerds who saw that I was at the movie by myself and decided to adopt me as one of their own, which was really nice. The movie was a lot more awesome than I expected. I wasn't expecting awesome at all. I was expecting okay, and got awesome. Still a little heartbroken about Vulcan and Amanda, but I'm telling myself that regular Trek continuity still exists as an alternate reality, dammit, it did not go away, it did NOT. And I do understand the reason for fridging Amanda and the whole damn planet with her. That shock was needed to really make the audience feel that Things Are Different Now, and Anything Can Happen, and You Are Not Safe, and You Can't Complain About Continuity Any More Neener Neener.
Another thing I wasn't expecting was the Uhura/Spock thing, but I think I like it. In particular, I love how it subverted every romantic comedy and anime relationship ever:
Kirk: Hey, Baby, what's your sign?
Uhura: "No trespassing."
Kirk: Come on, don't be like that.
Uhura: Shoo.
Kirk: You say that now, but I and the audience both know that at the end of a few movie hours worth of arguing and sexual tension you're going to trip and fall into my bed and admit that actually you liked me all along.
Audience: *sigh* He's right, Uhura. Might as well give in to the laws of romantic narrative now and get it over with.
Uhura: Not interested.
Kirk: Which we all know really means....
Uhura: REALLY not interested. No, seriously. I'm not going to end up with you by the end of the movie. It turns out I'm already in a relationship with someone almost completely unlike you. I'm actually just not that into you.
Audience: !!!
Kirk: Oh. Um, is it a passionless relationship with a bland boring guy which will dissipate as soon as you realize how hot I am?
Uhura: Nope. Tall dark and handsome AND exotic mysterious and tormented. Sorry.
Audience: <3 <3 <3
Kirk: But... But... You are REALLY messing with audience expectations, here...
Fangirls in Audience: Sorry, Kirk, but given the option, we'd all bang Spock too.
Kirk: Oh. Okay. Um. Well. Guess I'll, just... go back to sleeping my way through Starfleet Academy's female student body, then. I mean, I think there are still at least three sophomores in the engineering faculty I haven't banged yet, so... yeah.
Uhura: Have fun.
Kirk: ... Any chance of a three-way?
Spock: I would not be averse to this suggestion...
Uhura: Shut up, honey.
Spock: Yes, dear.
********************************
A movie where no actually really does mean no, and is not code, and persistance is not all you need to wear her down and make her love you. Thank you God.