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Election Envy
Nov. 2nd, 2008 09:48 pmIt's the day before the day before the Americans have their election, and I want to get something off my chest. As a Canadian, when I mention my nationality, a LOT of leftier Americans jokingly ask me if they can come sleep on my couch, or live in my basement, or set up a tent in my backyard. Initially, it made me feel amused and kinda smug. My country is awesomer and everybody wants to live here, yay.
But lately... lately my reaction has been deep sinking gloom or unexpected blazes of anger, and where the Hell did that come from?
I couldn't understand it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. I think I have it now.
Us Canadians had an election recently, too. A relatively quiet do, wouldn't be suprised if nobody else noticed. Hell, some of us might not have noticed. Anyway, a recent article I read said that 15% of Canadians said they would have given up their right to vote in our last election if it meant they could be allowed to vote in the next American election. Which is stupid and crazy and shame on you, 15%, but.... God damn it, I understand the impulse. Because I am Canadian, I like being Canadian, I like voting in Canadian elections... but I really, really wish I could vote in the American election too. The USA is our next-door neighbour, one of our biggest trading partners, our closest ally. Everything that the Americans do influences us. Who the Americans pick as their next president has a HUGE impact on Canada, on the entire rest of the world, and the entire rest of the world can't do anything about it.
I can't do anything about it.
All I can do is bloody WATCH.
It's... sickening. Maddening. Crazy-making. I'm helpless. I'm completely powerless. I'm a citizen of a free democratic country with suffrage who has reached the age of majority, I'm not supposed to ever be powerless, that's the whole POINT. But in this, I am.
And the Americans who want to leave America and live in my crawlspace or whatever... they're not. They're not powerless. And I'm jealous. Not of being American, I don't want to be American, GOD no. Not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that, but I LIKE winter and health care and the metric system and spelling neighbour with a 'u'. But I AM jealous of that power, that control. And when they joke about giving that up, running away... I get depressed, and mad. It's not their fault. They're kidding, and paying me and my country a compliment. It's just that I would give so much not to be helpless.
So, to my liberal American friends who have asked or were thinking of asking: No. I'm so, so sorry, but no. I love you, and I'd love to have you, but you can't crash on my couch, or live in my basement, or pitch a tent in my backyard. For three reasons:
But lately... lately my reaction has been deep sinking gloom or unexpected blazes of anger, and where the Hell did that come from?
I couldn't understand it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. I think I have it now.
Us Canadians had an election recently, too. A relatively quiet do, wouldn't be suprised if nobody else noticed. Hell, some of us might not have noticed. Anyway, a recent article I read said that 15% of Canadians said they would have given up their right to vote in our last election if it meant they could be allowed to vote in the next American election. Which is stupid and crazy and shame on you, 15%, but.... God damn it, I understand the impulse. Because I am Canadian, I like being Canadian, I like voting in Canadian elections... but I really, really wish I could vote in the American election too. The USA is our next-door neighbour, one of our biggest trading partners, our closest ally. Everything that the Americans do influences us. Who the Americans pick as their next president has a HUGE impact on Canada, on the entire rest of the world, and the entire rest of the world can't do anything about it.
I can't do anything about it.
All I can do is bloody WATCH.
It's... sickening. Maddening. Crazy-making. I'm helpless. I'm completely powerless. I'm a citizen of a free democratic country with suffrage who has reached the age of majority, I'm not supposed to ever be powerless, that's the whole POINT. But in this, I am.
And the Americans who want to leave America and live in my crawlspace or whatever... they're not. They're not powerless. And I'm jealous. Not of being American, I don't want to be American, GOD no. Not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that, but I LIKE winter and health care and the metric system and spelling neighbour with a 'u'. But I AM jealous of that power, that control. And when they joke about giving that up, running away... I get depressed, and mad. It's not their fault. They're kidding, and paying me and my country a compliment. It's just that I would give so much not to be helpless.
So, to my liberal American friends who have asked or were thinking of asking: No. I'm so, so sorry, but no. I love you, and I'd love to have you, but you can't crash on my couch, or live in my basement, or pitch a tent in my backyard. For three reasons:
1. If I let you in, I'd have to let everyone in who asked, and there is just not enough room.
2. Guys, Canada is not far enough away. Trust me on this. I wish it were, but it's not. All those problems Stateside? They can and do reach us here, and we have plenty of our own. Do you think that economic collapse will stop at the border? That a recession or a depression will hit the fourty-ninth parallel and go WHOA, hold it, too cold for me, take a left and stick to devastating Spokane? That war and terror and bigotry can't touch you here? I wish.
3. Most importantly, I can't let you come here for the very selfish reason that I need you where you are. I need you to stay, and vote, and make sure the good guys win. And if you try, and the bad guys win anyway, I still need you to stay. So that you can FIX it.
Because I can't. I'm way over here. You have to get it for me. I can't reach.
